Pork and Beans!

Pork and Beans!

Hello my little plumsters! So, today I checked on some news sites and I found that there are way too many things I would want to write about, so instead of writing about them one by one, I decided to simply summarize them into a news roundup (ala Professional Heckler). Anywho, here we go!

All pork, no beans
The Senators practically wasted six hours worth of taxes after not getting a single answer from pork barrel queen Janet Lim-Napoles, as she repeatedly invoked her right against self-incrimination last Thursday in a senate hearing about the 10-billion peso pork barrel scam.

When asked with questions, Napoles simply replied either of the three:

a.) Hindi ko po alam.
b.) Hindi po totoo yan.
c.) I invoke my right against self-incrimination.

The Department of Education is planning to include these choices in the next National Achievement Test.

Napoles even said that she is pitying the senators who are being dragged into the case with her but did not pity herself in the event when these senators will pay her police escorts to shoot her while in a convoy and then tell the press that she managed to grab their gun and shoot herself even if she is in handcuffs. (Why of course! She must have been Houdini’s intern!)

Not so surprisingly, however, Napoles managed to dodge the questions fired at her by none other than the lady senator who is ten times fiercer than Beyonce, Miriam Defensor-Santiago. Why, Napoles even had the gall to laugh at times when she was questioned by the Santiago, who can certainly be called the second greatest lord of Philippine politics, next to Juan Ponce Enrile.

If you were too lazy to read, the senators got pork from Napoles, but no beans were spilled.

Speaking of pork and beans…

Yolanda ravages PH
Super Typhoon Yolanda, one of the most powerful storms in recorded history, unleashed its fury over the Visayas on Friday leaving about a hundred dead, several injured, and many needing more than just the politicians’ pork.

According to Gwendolyn Pang, chief of the Philippine Red Cross, said that there are “reports of collapsed buildings, houses flattened to the ground, storm surges and landslides.” Moreover, there is a “completely damaged airport,” destroyed communication lines, still interrupted power supply, and many families who are still in evacuation centers in need of food, water, clothes, you know, basic stuff needed to survive.

The simplest way that you may donate to the Philippine Red Cross by texting RED to 4143 for Smart, and 2899 for Globe.

And just in case you still feel like buying the new iPhone 5s and/or the new iPhone 5c while most parts of the Visayas are completely ravaged by the storm, you might want to think again because…

Apple’s new iPhones are obviously expensive
Despite the iPhone 5c being released in the US at $99 with a postpaid plan, it and its fabulously expensive counterpart, the iPhone 5s, are still very pricy.

Globe and Smart have released their iPhone offers, with Globe offering their iPhone Forever plan which starts at P1,599 a month and will require you to trade in your existing phone. Now, depending on the phone model, you’ll get the iPhone for free, or you will have to pay up to P11,990. Smart, on the other hand, will not require you to trade in your existing phone, but you might want to save up because for their P500 monthly plan, you’ll have to pay P20,000 for the iPhone 5c.

Aside from outrageous pricing, there can only be one more thing which can outdo everything in this blog post…

Lady Gaga to perform in space in 2015
The Do What U Want singer is really taking rocket number nine out of the planet to perform in the ambitious Zero G Colony festival on board the Virgin Galactic spaceship.

Now of course, Mother Monster isn’t an alien whose vocal chords will stand the atmospheric pressure, and that’s why she will have to undergo a month worth of vocal training before she performs live in outer space in 2015.

Further reading:
Senators fail to get Napoles to spill beans on ‘pork’ scam on Inquirer.net
Tacloban devastated; at least 100 dead on Rappler
Globe, Smart reveal iPhone 5S, 5C plans on Rappler
Lady Gaga planning to return to her homeland with 2015 outerspace performance on Time NewsFeed

Photo edited by The Plum Times, original photos are not mine.

One thought on “Pork and Beans!

  1. Pingback: MAY HIMALA! Pacquiao beats Rios! | The Plum Times

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