The Metro’s traffic is truly getting worse. Especially if we have not just one, but two celebrities being compelled by such a disgusting display of a parking lot situated in the middle of Manila’s roads.
This, and supplemented by the heavy rains predicted by PAGASA (Thank God, our taxes finally worked in this agency) on Tuesday evening, forced Kris Aquino and Manny Pacquiao to join the commoners in commuting.
But since they are high-profile personalities, they opted to use high-profile public transport because the MRT, LRT, jeepneys, and buses are too mainstream for them high-profile hipsters.
The presidential sister was stuck in EDSA’s rush hour parking lot when she decided there was a dire need for assistance as she was running late to a sponsored event at Shangri-La.
“I phoned Mareng Lana Del Rey and she told me na I should ‘just ride.'” Aquino said in an interview with some media personality whom I would not mention in this article because he/she is entirely fictional. “She’s right naman kasi eh kasi I’m tired of feeling like I’m fucking crazy. I’m tired of driving ’till I see cars in my eyes. Kasi nga naman diba, sino bang hindi maluluka sa parking lot ng EDSA, to think na puro cars lang makikita mo na hindi gumagalaw. Grabe ang experience, feeling ko at any moment baka mag-transform sila or worse, mag-let’s-volt-in yung mga cars,” she frighteningly added.
With Kris’ being paranoid with machinery turning into Optimus Prime or Voltes V, she did not take the MRT, contrary to popular reports. However, she did ride a tire swing from EDSA to Shangri-La, as per advice of Mother Hipster herself, Lana Del Rey.
Meanwhile, Manny Pacquiao should either be busy sparring or legislating, but lo and behold, he was to be preaching at the ABS-CBN compound also last Tuesday. Since he was also running late, and the flood waters were rising, he decided to flex his multi-million muscles and bought a jet ski and rode it from the Royal, Pontifical and Underwater University of Santo Tomas to the ABS-CBN compound.
This is not the first time we have heard of a person taking public transport. I take public transport everyday and I never get extensive media coverage, but whatever.